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Flirting?



Practice self-awareness; it's likely you don't know what kind of an impression you're making on other people just by the way you stand, talk, walk, and the numerous other hints of body language humans display. If you can, ask a trusted friend what kind of nonverbal cues you give off. Do you stand with your head down and arms crossed? Do you frown more than you smile? Do you look people in the eyes, or never return eye contact at all? How loud is your speaking voice? Are you always waiting for someone to talk to you instead of trying to initiate every once in a while? Think these things over; our lives and habits change from the inside out, and vice versa.

Practice self-confidence; if you have a good idea what your bad social habits are, you can systematically work to change them. Identifying what it is that is detrimental to your future as a social butterfly will help you address those specific problems and their underlying causes. Often shyness = low self-esteem = putting too much stock in past incidents.

You can turn the vicious cycle into the friendly cycle! Practice proper posture, eye contact and smiling in the mirror or with a friend. Practice walking with your head up, your eyes looking forward (not at the ground)and your arms swinging. Work on smiling at strangers, waitresses, bus drivers, gas station attendants. When they respond, and they very often will, don't turn away and brace yourself against human contact; say hi. Really. 'Hi' is, was, and will continue to be the best opening line in the universe. You can throw in "How are you?" or "Nice day, huh?", but the message has already gotten across, that being 'I am an open and friendly person'.

If you've given yourself time to work on your general friendliness, go ahead and take your friends up on that offer to hit the town, or take yourself out to a concert or other social event. Remember, as Depeche Mode put it, 'People are People'. Most everyone will respond positively to you, and if they don't, screw 'em. Mean and shallow people aren't worth your time, so don't waste it trying to impress them.

Nothing's more attractive than a confident smile! Alright, you're feeling a little more confident. You get yourself a punch (if it's available) and head out onto the dancefloor. You turn and spy Mr/Mrs CutiePants talking to a friend or just heading out to the floor themselves. Here's the test; what do you do? Turn and run back to your corner booth? Dissolve into self-pitying tears the minute they look at you? Change the chain! And... smile!